It has been a challenging and scary week/month. Coronavirus is spreading and communities around the world are taking drastic measures in an effort to slow the growth. Plenty of us grown-ups are feeling worried, so you can bet that kids are too.
Often we want to protect kids from scary things, but the reality is they pick up on much more than we often realize. So, here are 10 great books which lay fear, worry and anxiety out on the table. They are a great way to invite kids to consider and share their own feelings and to develop a sense of connection to others through these universal emotional experiences.
Ruby Finds a Worry by Tom Percival
Worry is personified as an almost-cute little yellow fuzz-ball, which just appears one day, and gets bigger and bigger, bit by bit. This book does a great job of conveying the way in which worry can feel take on a life of its own, tending to snowball.
Brave Molly by Brooke Boynton-Hughes
Plagued by social fear, Molly finds herself stuck between a rock and a hard place when helping someone means she will need to speak up and make contact. Her fear is similarly personified, though with figures a bit more scary and shadowy than Ruby’s. Eventually, Molly gets fed up with the way her fears holds her back and stands up to them.
Feeling Scared by Rosalyn Clark
A simple and straightforward nonfiction look at situations which can make you feel scared. This book can open up conversations about how there are different kinds of fear and worry and can encourage your child to talk about times they have experienced such feelings.
Gloria’s Big Problem by Sarah Stiles Bright, illustrated by Mike Deas
Gloria’s “problem” is a goofy green polka-dot boxer-clad monster who whispers increasingly wild anxiety-inducing scenarios into Gloria’s ear. Humor is a great way to put scary feelings and what-ifs into perspective. (And don’t worry, Gloria stand up to him eventually, which is all it takes to make him shrink into the shadows.)
I am Peace: A Book about Mindfulness by Susan Verde, illustrated by Peter H. Reynolds
Both the words and illustrations of this book are soothing and up-lifting. It offers real strategies kids can use. For example, learning how to observe a feeling and simply allow it to be there and eventually pass (“I can watch my worries gently pop and disappear. I let things go”). It encourages children to express themselves by saying “what I feel inside out loud” and to be present in the moment rather than dwelling on past regrets or future worries.
I’m Worried by Michael Ian Black, illustrated by Debbie Ridpath Ohi
This one cracks me up. The worrying protagonist just happens to be a potato. His vague worry (that “something” bad might happen) makes the story and its concepts relatable to whatever specific fear a young reader might be currently experiencing (from coronavirus to the first day of school to monsters under the bed). This book also touches on the way worry can be contagious and that the solution is not necessarily simple, because the truth is, we can’t guarantee nothing bad will ever happen.
My Mixed Emotions: Help Your Kids Handle their Feelings by Elinor Greenwood
Kids might really be helped by this thorough and scientific look at the brain functions which control our experiences of emotion. Rather than seeing feelings as an enemy, kids will see how our feelings are designed to do all kinds of helpful things–warn us, connect us, help us learn. Our feelings can just go a little wonky sometimes. This book will help kids understand the relationship between their body and their feelings and will allow them to hopefully recognize their feelings more easily in moments of stress.
Que te preocupa? (What’s Worrying You?) by Molly Potter, illustrated by Sarah Jennings
I love the table of contents in this book! A two-page spread shows little scenes of different things kids worry about (“When you see something horrible on TV,” “When you don’t have friends to play with,” etc.). Kids can then navigate to the page which addresses that particular type of worry. The book also does a great job of identifying the thoughts that are likely behind the feelings, and then suggests things to remember which will help reframe those thoughts (and, by consequence, the feelings as well).
A little boy worries that his family’s planned day at the beach will be thwarted by a bad storm on the way. He watches the sky all day, worrying and worrying. In fact, it’s the uncertainty which makes worry so uncomfortable and torturous. Knowing one way or the other whether their special beach trip will happen–even if the answer is no–would be better than this waiting and worrying!
When Molly Drew Dogs by Deborah Kerbel, illustrated by Lis Xu
This story is sort of abstract and could lead to really neat conversations about personal ways of coping with anxiety. At the beginning of the book, Molly’s anxious thoughts are described as dogs that are friendly “but a bit wild.” Molly begins to draw dogs. But rather than this amplifying her anxiety, it actually helps to sort and calm her thoughts. This book was a good reminder for me that different kids will need to express how they feel in different ways. What works for one, may not for another, and that’s ok.
Any and all of these books are sure to open up lines of communication with kids about feelings of fear, worry and anxiety, and at the end of the day, that is the goal. If you have kids in your life that are specifically worrying about the coronavirus, here are a couple articles which I found helpful:
“How to talk with kids about coronavirus” (Al Tomkins, Poynter.org)
A running theme is that often, if we listen, kids will show us what they are ready for and wanting to talk about. If given the chance to ask questions and share thoughts, they begin to discover the way of processing and handling feelings that works for them. Us grown-ups don’t have to have all the answers. We just need to be willing and welcoming partners in sitting with these feelings together.
